Learning to live with PTSD has been a continual challenge since the compounded trauma Phil and I faced in 2018.
A coma on May 2nd, home destroyed by fire with all contents, lava wiping out 700 homes in Leilani on the Big Island -- homeless with four dogs. Without an insurance payment or denial (which came later) we could not get FEMA, food stamps or apply for assistance. I came out of the hospital blind (no glasses), wearing hospital socks and no underwear or clothes.
I couldn't drive for six months, and Phil was afraid to leave me alone and every trip to Hilo was further trauma for us both. I turned to art as a way to deal with overwhelming emotions -- finding a way to express the many processes of loss and grief -- when words simply failed. After 400 small art-journal entries, I broke out into larger collages. I gave two presentations about how art can help trauma survivors and I was thankful for therapy I received during those years.
PTSD is about the body's memory and response to perceived threat -- you can "know" in your head you are safe, but the body remembers... even five years later. Recently, during an emotionally rough week, I found a couple of images that spoke to me and, over the course of the next few weeks, I began to build around those center images until I was able to see the how the images would reflect my desire to draw upon my inner power. Below is the final version --
